'Paddy' always in memory of fiancee Mary Irving

His death made me a nicer person

door eric molenaar

Mary Irving was 16 when she met the then 18 year old Jack Kehoe, at a dance in 1939 in Kirkwhelpington, near Newcastle. It was a young man that had something special, she saw instantly. He was introduced to her as 'Paddy' (British for 'Irish' at that time). Mary started to use that name as a nickname and it remained for over 66 years in her mind.
Kehoe worked at a radar station. Hij came to England to study at the Cranwell College, a training centre of the RAF. Jack wanted to become a pilot. When the war broke out, later in 1939, he volunteered ( Ireland was neutral in the war) as an aviator at the airforce. He got the combined function of wireless operator and rear gunner in a Hampden bomber. ,,I didn't want it, his mother didn't want it and his sister didn't want it. But still, he went. We all want to fly, he said.''

Nicer person

Mary started to work as a nurse, at first in a civilian hospital. They saw each other when he was on leave, sometimes there were weeks between leaves, sometimes months. In the meantime she had started a correspondence with the Jacks elder sister, Margaret. 'I met a nice girl, it would be nice if you write her', he had said to his sister. Mary and Jack wanted to get married. At christmas 1941, Mary would have travelled with Jack to Ierland, to be introduced to his mother. His mother had warned him he 'wouldn't dare marry someone she had not seen'.
Mary never will forget the goodbye at the busstation in Newcastle, that turned out to be their last goodbye. On the 8 of november 1941 Jacks plane crashed in Berkhout, after an attack of a german nightfighter. The crew of four was killed instantly. ,,I thought something had happened, didn't get any letters for a while. And I had a funny feeling about it'', Mary says.
,,When I got the letter saying he was killed, I went to pieces, for a while. Then I went back, and then I thought I wanna get out of this civilian place, want to go out where I am needed as a nurse, to the forces.'' ,,I became more dedicated to the patients, even having to assist a dying german. I would have never forgiven myself if I hadn't done that.''
For sixty years, she has placed a small wooden cross for her Paddy on Remembrance Day, the day the British commemorate their war deaths, on 11 november. The man she married after the war and who gave her six childeren, was very understanding.
,,You never do forget. My husband knew all about it, we talked openly about it. He said: 'I will try to get the money for you if you want to go see where the young man is buried. He couldn't have been fairer, was most interessed, cause he was a service man himself. He was a soldier in the West Yorkshire Regiment.''

Mary and Margaret together

Combination

Her whole life, Mary thought Jack was in a wargrave, next to the others. Her daughter Sheila started searching for his final resting place after the death of her father. But she couldn't find out. Until, a year ago, a combination of circumstances occured. Mary heard from a friend who has a brother in law in Ireland, there was an article in Ireland on Sunday about Margaret Walsh trying to get the remains of her brother back to Ireland. Sheila contacted the secretary of the 49 Squadron Association, the society of veterans from the unit the Hampden belonged to. He remembered a phone call he got earlier, from the British solicitor Alan Walker, who was searching family members on request of the Dutch foundation of DARE.
Carefully, the contact was re-established between Mary en Margaret, who restarted their correspondence after 65 years. And last saturday was their first meeting. Everything had gone full circle. Both are glad to be able to exchange memories, certainly because there aren't many people left who have known Jack personally.
Mary stands behind the intention of Margaret Kehoe to bury her brother in Ireland, in the family grave - where his name is already on the stone. ,,She wants him in a cemetery, next to his mother. I think that's a very good idea. A proper service in Ireland.'' Because of her arthritis she doesn't think she will be able to attend this ceremony. ,,My daughter will go. I'm an old lady.''

Translation of an interview published in Noordhollands Dagblad, 26 mei 2007